The Starship Europa project may have temporarily halted, but I thought I'd put up some of the maddest fluff we've written for it over the last few years for this star trek fandom- just to show you that when I claim we're mad writers, it's all too true.
Written for the lols:
'In the Sickbay, Dr Phlox looked horror stricken. First fact: Captain Archer was going to be alright. Joanna was another matter.
"Doctor Phlox to Enya. Come to sick bay now please!" shouted Doctor Phlox in the intercom and Enya hurried into sick bay.
"Joanna's dead," stated Phlox grimly.
"She is?" asked Enya with a calm face.
"I am?" said a voice behind her.
"Joanna, how are you?" asked Enya.
"I feel great! Ahh, it's nice to be shot again," said Joanna winking.
"But, but you were dead! You were supposed to be dead!" stated Phlox.
"I was? Do you want me to die? How's the captain?" asked Joanna.
"He's still unconscious and he was shot in the leg. You were shot in the chest," exclaimed Phlox.
"Oh, erm, I need to go and erm, play a game of erm, table tennis! Yes! Enya, you and I were going to have a table tennis match after the mission!" shouted Joanna.
"There is no table tennis table on this ship!" stated Phlox.
"Oh, errrm…" said Joanna as she struggled to think of something to say.
"I need her help on my top-priority science test!" said Enya.
"No, I am confining her to sick bay!" shouted Phlox.
"Oh yeah! Your temporal experiment!" added Joanna, catching on.
"Didn't the Vulcans find that time travel was impossible?" asked Phlox.
"What the hell are you doing up? I thought Phlox told me you were dead!" said a voice behind them. Phlox whipped around and it was Commander Tucker.
"Hello Commander. Is there a table tennis table aboard Enterprise, sir? Doctor Phlox said there wasn't one… Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be dead. Dead!! Err…" said Joanna as she panicked, then she collapsed on the floor.
Doctor Phlox scanned her. "She's perfectly fine, sir."
"I'm fine? You said I was dead, sir" said Joanna as she peeked out of one eye.
"JOANNA! I need you to help with my experiment!" stated Enya.
"Yes, but I'm confined to sick bay with no reason!" retorted Joanna, staring at Phlox.
"There is a good reason. You returned from the dead!" countered Phlox.
"I highly doubt it!" snapped Joanna.
"Why don't you just stay here for a few days, Joanna? It won't do you any harm," said Tucker.
"It does harm to me sir. Joanna promised me to help me complete my experiment on time travel-" began Enya.
"Time travel is impossible," said T'Pol as she had just come in. "Crewman, I heard you were dead."
"Dead I was? Err, why does everyone want me to die, Enya?" asked Joanna.
"I don't know," said Enya.
"You shot me a couple of times before- am I so unlikeable?" began Joanna frowning.
"How is the Captain," interrupted T'Pol.
"He's doing fine," said Phlox happily.
"Doctor, I need you to release Joanna from sick bay. We are a bit busy and an extra hand will help. Joanna, I heard you have a degree in mechanics amongst other subjects," said T'Pol.
"I'm not going to drop dead again am I, doctor?" asked Joanna.
"Fine, but you have to report to sick bay every 12 hours!" snapped Phlox.
"Twelve hours?" asked Joanna.
"Yes, that would be fine doctor," said T'Pol and the four of them left sick bay.'
Poor Joanna...even when she's on holiday in the past, with a Q on her crew she never gets any peace or quiet...
If anyone's got any other ideas for the pea-maniac captain, tell me what.